Flashback to my pre-enlightenment days. Each evening between 6:00 pm and midnight, I talked on the phone. Hands shaking, mascara running, red lipstick everywhere but where it should have been, cold beer in one hand, death grip on my phone with the other, I paced and talked, paced, and talked, drank beer, talked, paced, and talked, and paced and talked. And cried. And yelled. Only time I shut up was when I needed a deep Marlboro Light inhale and exhale.

My conversations consisted of two things: How badly my dad had treated me and how badly my boyfriends had treated me. Occasionally, I’d switch it up and zone in on everyone’s faults. If I felt really dramatic, I’d offer up stories about my mother’s depressingly sad upbringing, which was something that had taken place forty years prior. As I discussed these topics, I could feel the hatred coming to the surface. It was like an adrenaline rush, and when I felt that hatred taking me over my phone performances became quite theatrical. Entertaining while getting sympathy fueled my fire, but the horrible things I manifested from consistently reliving the worst times of my life put that fire out.

Speaking things into existence is real. Everything we think, do, and say manifests. If you doubt this, look up “quantum physics.” I didn’t make this up. There’s science that backs the claims I make.

Our conversations are attached to energetic vibrations, like everything else. Talking to a friend about an exciting new opportunity matches the energetic vibrational frequency of good things. On the contrary, talking to a friend about a heart-wrenching incident that happened to you matches the frequency of things that match the heart-wrenching incident. The more you talk about heart-wrenching incidents, the more you increase your odds of attracting in more heart-wrenching situations.

Think about this. If our conversations, day in and day out, are focused on problems then we conjure up low energetic vibes and those vibes manifest into things we don’t want. Back in the day, going into my phone conversations, I may have been in a relatively good mood, but that good mood didn’t last long once I started reliving the past. Within an hour, I had conjured up the emotions I felt when whatever past event I was talking about happened. Through my drama-ridden phone conversations, I brought the past to the now.

My favorite hobby was reliving the past and convincing everyone that I was a helpless victim of circumstance. I was raised to behave that way. Everyone around me behaved the same way. They told sad stories to get attention and sympathy, and I thought that’s what everyone did. Frankly, I don’t remember ever hearing any success stories from anyone, but I can recall fifty stories I heard about infidelity, poverty, abuse, and sickness. Even more alarming was being told to not share stories of our good fortunes because that was considered bragging. Stick with the bad stuff and people won’t have any reason to be jealous or feel inferior.

Okie dokie.

Each time I talked about my string of unfaithful boyfriends, I felt the rage and the humiliation wash over me just as it did when I found out about their indiscretions. I kept those low energetic vibes alive, and they lived for free in my subconscious mind for decades. But I ended up paying a large price for housing those negative emotions. Let me tell you something. My subconscious mind housed a shit storm of emotions that eventually manifested into misery.

Talking about past events resets our progress and takes us back ten steps. I did not realize this at the time, but it’s crystal clear now. You see we don’t manifest what we want. We manifest what we are, which means we attract in people and things that match how we feel. Those phone conversations stirred up emotions that matched toxic people, financial woes, health issues, vicious arguments with people, car trouble, and outright complete and utter chaos.

Whatever we want to attract in our words, actions, thoughts, and feelings must match it. I am here to tell you right here and now that you will never manifest what you want unless you are keenly aware of how powerful you are. Everything you say and do creates your physical world.

So, let’s pretend that I actually know what I’m talking about. Ask yourself this question:

What do my daily conversations consist of?

Take inventory of what you talk about most often and then think about how you feel when you talk about those things. If your conversations are rooted in despair, you better switch up your language. In the event you realize you are talking about your problems more than you talk about anything else, take a look around you. I bet you realize you are manifesting things you do not want. If your thought and speaking patterns aren’t interrupted, manifesting misery becomes the norm.

Good news is you can interrupt a bad thought or a negative comment with the quickness.

Bad news is your phone buddies probably aren’t interested in your happy stories. I know mine weren’t.

When I realized the damage I caused from talking excessively about my misfortunes, I started making excuses to get out of talking on the phone. I knew I didn’t have the emotional capacity and the willpower to stay away from talking about things that drastically lowered my energetic vibe, so I did what I had to do until I became more emotionally intelligent. Moreover, I certainly didn’t feel comfortable telling the truth. I can only imagine how people would have responded to the truth. “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t talk to you tonight because our conversations lower my energetic vibration and talking to you is destroying my life in more ways than one.” A comment like that would have resulted in social suicide in my small-minded town.

Giving up this lifestyle was hard, and I missed talking on the phone. Giving up self-sabotaging behaviors is sometimes like losing an old friend. Plus, my relationships with my regular phone buddies suffered, but I felt so much better so quickly that I was motivated to stay away from this lifestyle completely. After about three months, I was ready to give it up for good, and I did. I am over a decade clean from self-sabotaging phone conversations.

I wrote this article for the same reason I write everything — To help people become aware of mindless, daily behaviors that destroy their chances of manifesting an ideal life. Making a small, incremental change eventually leads to a major miracle. Try it.

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Now, go talk on the phone about something wonderful that has happened to you!