I hosted a workshop at a retreat last weekend, and when my talk was over, some hands flew up. Thrilled they had questions, I readily pointed at one of the audience members and said, “Yes, sir!” He said, “Paula, how do we stay positive when we feel awful?” I have not stopped thinking about his question. When he asked me that, I advised him to stick with his positive affirmations and meditations, but there is actually more to it.
Staying positive ALL THE TIME is not healthy or possible. I do not encourage anyone to force themselves to be positive 24/7, because that’s living in denial. We have to face our problems, no doubt about that. The key is to not carry those low frequency emotions with us for too long. When I say low frequency emotions, I am referring to feelings of anger, guilt, frustration, irritability, and all of those feelings that cause us to feel “awful.”
How do we not harbor those feelings? There’s a few tricks to it, because most of us were raised to carry those emotions with us. Hang on tight to that anger and never let it go! This is not the way. This is the way to attract in bad experiences you do not want. During times of difficulty, we must stay as grounded as possible. I have a few exercises you can try during difficult times, whether you are going through a breakup or financial crisis or loss of a loved one or a nasty case of PMS. Whatever your situation may be, try these exercises and at least one of them will help you to stay grounded. Staying grounded keeps us from spiraling out of control. It also helps us to let go and let God much quicker.
Meditation Techniques
#1. Weather permitting, do this technique outdoors. Sit in a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Make sure your spine is straight and your shoulders do not slump over. Close your eyes. Take one minute to calm your mind. When you’re ready, breathe in and out for about two minutes. If you have racing thoughts, that is OK! Do not try to force your mind to turn off. Do not try and force anything. Just sit in silence and breathe in and out.
After two-three minutes, start imagining your feet are roots, like a tree. See those roots coming from the soles of your feet. Imagine those roots go deep into the earth. Your feet are your anchor and those roots are connecting you to Source (aka the Universe). Stay in this moment for another minute or two or stay in it as long as you want. This meditation only takes about five minutes. It is highly effective in keeping a person grounded during times of difficulty. However, you can use it anytime you want.
#2. The more you say something and think about something the more power you give it. With this in mind, think about something you really, really want. Now, write that something down as an “I am” statement. For example, if it’s abundance you want, write down, “I am wealthy or I am a magnet for unlimited abundance.” Make sure you are specific about what you want. Do not go into this meditation until you are 100% confident about what you want.
Next step requires a quiet place. All you need is a quiet space and a chair or something comfortable to sit on or lie down on. Get comfortable and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths in. This can take as little or as long as you want, but I suggest breathing in and out for about two minutes. This tends to quiet the mind and it relaxes the mind and the body.
Now, see that “I am” statement you wrote in your mind. See the whole sentence. Continue to breath in and out. Envision the letter “I.” See the letter in your mind until it is crystal clear. Take as long as you need to with this step. Once the letter “I” is clear, move on to the word “am.” See the word “am” in your mind. Again, take as much time as you need. Once you see “I am” clearly in your mind, move on to see the other words in the sentence you wrote. For example, if you wrote, “I am wealthy,” you will move on to focus on the word “wealthy.” Continue to breathe and do not rush through this. You might be surprised by how much better you feel after you do this meditation.
Gratitude
Let’s face it. Bad days happen, and some are worse than others. Feelings of gratitude will always, always, always brighten your spirits. When you happen to be feeling just awful, stop for a second and think about the good things in your life. Write them down if you need to. Whatever you need to do to feel grateful. Gratitude is a high frequency emotion that counteracts low frequency emotions. Here’s an example of how this works.
The other day I was feeling a little bluesy. Not sure if it was PMS or pure aggravation that spawned from never being able to get anything fixed in our new house. Nothing terrible was happening. I was just really aggravated. Before I started a pity party, I checked myself, because I am able to live in the present moment. I checked myself and said, “Paula, think about everything you have and how much gratitude you could be feeling right now.”
That one thought, that one realization in the present moment, turned my mood around. I became fully grateful for my body, because it is perfect. I am not referring to physical beauty here. I am referring to the fact I do not have any physical or intellectual disabilities. Then, I took this gratitude exercise a step further when I looked down to see my two dogs sitting at my feet. I feel nothing but love when I see my dogs, which raises the frequency of my thoughts.
Doing exercises like these are effective in helping us to make shifts in our thinking patterns. These exercises are also effective in helping us get control of our emotions. These exercises raised my levels of emotional intelligence significantly. Moreover, making these types of shifts in our thinking greatly enhance our ability to live in the present moment.
