Connection Between Expectation and Disappointment

Paula Swope

I think all of us are guilty of setting expectations for how others should act or treat us. For instance, expectations are set about how spouses and friends should respond to holidays and birthdays. If someone expects flowers for Valentine’s Day and does not get them then that person feels hurt and resentful towards the person that did not send the flowers. Expectations often to lead disappointment, arguments, and fall outs with loved ones. The recent Presidential election is a perfect example.

Ideologies are different, and that is part of what makes a healthy democratic society. We are free to choose. Right? Then why do so many people hate another person because of an opposing opinion? It is because of expectations. Because you believe in something you expect your friends and family to share your belief. When they do not share your passion and disagree with you, it causes hatred and places strain on the relationship.

Ego plays a major role here. When being right becomes more important than being kind and loving someone, ego has taken over. In politics, I am not so sure there is a right or wrong answer. How you believe is your opinion and your opinion does not make you right or wrong. It is simply your take on things. Different opinions are part of individualism. If we were all the same, how would the world continue to turn? And how boring would that be if we were!

Because I have witnessed so much hatred in 2020, I felt compelled to shine some light on what expectations can cause. If you expect a person to behave a certain way or believe a certain way you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You are also letting your ego win because you place yourself in a predicament where you defend your beliefs for the purpose of proving that you are right, and the other person is wrong. Facts are neither one of you are “right” or “wrong.”

Sometimes we do not realize we set so many expectations. My goal for this week’s blog is to create awareness around this. Do me a favor. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you need to defend your stance on something, consider this. Is being right more important to you, or is peace more important?

Anything that causes negative emotions needs to be avoided. Disappointment, resentment, anger, these emotions are low-energy frequencies, and the more you indulge in these emotions the more likely you are to attract negative experiences into your world. Your good fortune is more important than being “right.”

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