Not everyone is nice. You are not an energetic match for everyone. All of us come from the same source. We are spiritual beings having human experiences, and those human experiences take us away from our true essence. That’s when we stray from our internal power and rely on external sources for strength. It happens to the best of us. Society is a real bitch sometimes. As kids, our little undeveloped brains were conditioned to believe so much nonsense that stuck with us through adulthood. Unfortunately, some people never become aware of that, so nonsense lives comfortably in their subconscious, controlling their behaviors for a lifetime.

It only takes 12 seconds for our minds to store a bad memory permanently. Did you know that? But it takes much longer to store a good memory. Maybe that’s why it’s easier for you to believe the bad over the good. Who knows! Each person is different, but forgiveness is the same for everyone. Those bad memories you have more than likely involve people, and those memories are directly related to how you feel about those people. If a bad memory eats at you, that’s a strong indicator that you must work on forgiving the person associated with that memory.

Do you need to forgive?

Ask yourself the following questions to determine if forgiveness is something you need to do.

What is the first thing or person I think about when I wake up? Does this thought make me feel good or bad?

What is the first thing or person I think about before sleep? Does this thought make me feel good or bad?

Whom do I dislike most? Why do I feel this way?

Whom do I talk about negatively most?

Which memory makes me angry to the point that the memory eats at me?

Who humiliated me? Do I think about this moment often?

Do I think about revenge? Who do I seek revenge against? Do I envision carrying out revenge?

Your answers will reveal whom you need to forgive most. Here’s a hint. The person you think about immediately when the words dislike, angry, and revenge come up is the person you need to forgive most.

How do you forgive someone that did you so wrong?

You practice empathy. I forgave the unforgivable through practicing empathy. I call it “Activating Your Empathy Button.” Here’s how you do it.

Wait a minute. You need to know something first. FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU. Forgiveness isn’t for the a**hole that created the bad memory. Refusing to forgive those wrongdoers gives them enormous power over you, but forgiveness takes away their power.

Ok…onward and upward…let’s take away their power.

First, view your enemies from a different perspective. See them as your greatest teachers because that’s really what they are. Think about this. What lessons did you learn from dealing with the person you dislike most? Are you stronger because of that person? You can’t put a price tag on wisdom, so be grateful for the wisdom from the bad experience. Keep this in mind. Let go of the past, but learn from it. Use the lessons you learned in the past to create your future. If you want to know your future, take inventory of your thoughts, actions, and emotions now.

Second, activate your empathy button. You can do this anytime as long as you are aware. Think about your wrongdoer’s situation. Why did they choose to hurt you? What’s their story? Who hurt them? A person’s behavior is determined by how they feel about themselves. If someone hates themselves, they cannot love you. They inflict hate on you because they hate themselves. Don’t take it personally. Do reflect on how you reacted to their wrongdoing.

Third, focus on yourself. Forgive yourself. Work on forgiving your past and anyone in it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you continue to associate with the person you dislike. It means you forgive them but don’t have to associate with them. Sometimes physical distance is the only way to forgive and break the cycle of an abusive pattern. Remember that an unwillingness to forgive creates bad energy and will return to you. It’s called the Law of Karma. Every energy we put out there comes back to us in like kind. So, ask yourself, “Is harboring anger toward this person worth attracting in things I don’t want?” The answer will be no every time.

Forgiveness is the solution to most problems.

My unwillingness to forgive caused financial problems, health issues, weight gain, toxic relationships, violent encounters with others, binge drinking, and fear. Once I understood the true reason for forgiveness, I listed everyone I harbored anger towards. One by one, I went through my list and slowly worked my way to forgiving each of them. This was over one decade ago. Flash forward to now. Financial problems, health issues, weight gain, toxic relationships, violent encounters with others, binge drinking, and fear cannot find me because I am no longer an energetic match to self-sabotage.

I understand that each person’s situation is different, and some are worse than others. I understand that some of you have gone through traumatizing experiences, and those experiences are going to take more time, effort, and empathy. Ease your way into forgiveness by being open to it. When you’re ready, move forward with the three tips above. You didn’t accumulate negative energy overnight, so don’t pressure yourself to let go of it overnight. Start slow. Small changes lead to big changes. I guarantee you will never regret forgiving someone.

I am grateful to you.

Thank you for giving me your most precious asset, your time. When I write an article, I always intend to provide information that will change and greatly enhance your quality of life. I’ve been through it. The best advice comes from those who have lived in hell on earth and moved to heaven on earth. Forgiveness will get you to a better zip code.



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