Traits are passed on through generations. For instance, in some families it is a tradition to go to a certain college. Great grandpa went to Harvard, and that motivated his son to go to Harvard, and after many years and several generations of kids, the family has 20 family members that are Harvard Alumni. Other things can be passed on through the generations that are not so positive, such as poverty and negative thinking. This chapter helps you become aware of how you became a negative thinker through learning about how my family passed on negative thinking through the generations. You will see a pattern of women not getting what they want and settling for abuse.

Odds are you were socialized to think negatively. It is commonplace for families to pass down the negative thinking gene generation after generation. I call this intergenerational negative thinking (INT). The way we are socialized is how we develop our sense of self. Socialization is defined as “a learning process, one that involves development or changes in the individual’s sense of self.” From birth on into adulthood we learn how to behave and how to think through others. Think back to when you were little. Remember your parents teaching you how to behave? You were being socialized. 

I recently watched the Netflix movie, “Hillbilly Elegy,” and I had a serious a-ha moment. The entire movie depicts my INT theory. I noticed concepts of my theory being put into practice in each scene. The grandmother was socialized in an abusive environment and handed that violent mindset down to her daughter. Then the daughter had a son and socialized him in a chaotic environment ridden with poverty, violence, verbal abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, and negative thinking at high functioning levels. 

People are born into negativity, and they do not realize it. Negativity is their norm. Next thing you know negativity is the family culture, and it can continue for hundreds of years until someone breaks the cycle. In “Hillbilly Elegy,” it is the son that breaks the cycle, and he questions his family’s values in terms of their level of responsibility for their misfortunes. One thought started his journey to escape social rot. 

Same with me. When I started studying metaphysics, I viewed my socialization through a different lens. This caused me to see myself differently, and I realized I was the furthest thing from a victim. I also realized my family members were not victims. We were all responsible for everything that had happened. With this one thought, like the son in the movie, I started my work to break the cycle of INT. 

You can too.