Forgiveness is for us, not the other person. If you harbor anger or any negative emotion towards another person those feelings hurt you, not the other person. Here is how it works. Any negative emotion you carry around with you attracts in negative experiences. When you feel bitter towards another person, it is an all-consuming feeling. We are often tempted to get revenge and we play out how we would execute the revenge in our heads. What we do not realize is these feelings and thoughts attract bad things, so that is why I say forgiveness is for us versus the other person. 

When you forgive someone, that does not mean you condone that person’s behavior. It sure does not mean you have to associate with that person. Forgiveness sets you free. If you truly forgive someone, you no longer want to get revenge and you do not think about their wrongdoing day in and day out. Have you ever been so mad at someone that you wake up thinking about how badly they did you? Then those thoughts turn into rage and you carry that rage with you all day. These feelings attract in bad experiences, and that is why forgiveness is critical to your ability to manifest the things you want. If you think about rage against another person all day, then rage is what you will get in return. Watch yourself. 

Forgiveness is something I did not understand and something I never practiced. I thought forgiving someone was a sign of weakness, so I carried anger and rage with me against so many people. After studying metaphysics, I learned I was doing a great deal of damage to myself because I was not willing to forgive. This was probably 10 years ago. Now, I can honestly tell you I have forgiven everyone that I harbored anger towards. This is how I did it. 

First step I took was admitting I was angry with certain people. I made a list of everyone I needed to forgive, and my name was on that list. My top five people were ones I woke up thinking about, the ones I wanted to get revenge against. These were the ones that ignited rage and anger in my soul when I thought about the bad things they did. Making this list was not easy, but it made me face the truth. The truth was I was overridden by negative emotions. 

Second step involved empathy, which I consider to be the key to forgiveness. I went through my list daily and took one person at a time. I stepped into each person’s shoes and that helped me to see them in a different light. For example, one person on my list had a harsh, brutal upbringing and through practicing empathy I understood more about why he was so mean to me. When I realized I was not his problem, that it was his inner demons, forgiveness came easy. 

With each person on my list, I said, “I forgive you and I let you go forever.” I said this statement over and over until I no longer felt the rage and the anger. My longing for revenge vanished. I also said, “I no longer have the need for anger, rage, and revenge. I choose love, and I intend to feel good.” Again, I said this over and over until it was true. Like anything else, I believe we have the power to speak things into existence, and that includes forgiveness. 

Start with one person. Do exactly what I did for several weeks and see how you feel. Be kind to yourself during this process and do not judge any feelings you have. Please know it is totally normal to harbor resentment towards another person, but you are hurting yourself. Learning how to forgive and why you should practice forgiveness is lifechanging.