As I write this, I’m wearing ear plugs to block out the noise coming from the kitchen. My husband and stepdaughter are baking a red velvet cake, and the sounds of the dishes clashing together make my skin crawl.

Introverts, do you feel me? Let’s have a real conversation about the introvert’s personality.

“A shy, reticent person,” is how introvert is defined in the dictionary. I certainly do not fit that definition. I do not agree with this definition. And the synonyms are ridiculous.

Recluse. Hermit. Narrow-minded. Small-minded.

I have a word for the dictionary — BULLSHIT.

Other synonyms are lone wolf, solitary, and quiet. I can get down with those, but not the others. Hermit? Narrow-minded? Small-minded? Recluse? No sir!

Introverts are incredibly misunderstood. There is a stigma about being introverted, and I’m not sure why. Being an introvert is not a bad thing; however, if a person with zero knowledge of introversion and extraversion read the definitions of “introvert” and “extrovert” I can see why they would consider introverted as a “bad” personality trait.

The opposite of introvert is extrovert. Dictionary defines extroverted as “outgoing and socially confident.” When used in a sentence, the dictionary chooses this language:

She is extroverted, confident, and gives rousing lectures.

I suppose the sentence for introvert would be:

She is introverted, insecure, and gives dull lectures.

If you know an introvert, or if you are an introvert, it is abundantly clear that there is nothing dull about us. We are deep thinkers that are highly in touch with our intuitive abilities, but that information falls through the cracks.

The extrovert is made out to be exciting, confident, and broad-minded while the introvert is painted as a weird person who doesn’t have the confidence to socialize publicly. I have a problem with this, but before I go any further, I want to preface my discussion by clarifying two things.

First, there are other definitions of introvert that aren’t condescending. I chose the one stated above because it is more representative of the overall view some people have of introverts.

Second, I have zero medical or psychological training. My thoughts about introversion and extraversion are based on personal experiences and secondary research.

I was in my early thirties when I first suspected something was off with my energy. During this time, I worked in an office where I shared a small space with four people. My co-workers never shut up. They talked all day, non-stop and very loudly. Although I really, really liked these wonderful, smart, sweet, caring, educated people, the excessive chatter made me downright mad. Not to mention the constant interruptions. By 5:00, I wanted to cry and some days I did.

There were days I felt like I was coming out of my skin, and by the time I left that office I felt lifeless, irritable, and discombobulated. It took some time to figure out why I felt this way, but when I figured it out, I quit the job. I knew I had to remove myself from any situation that made me feel terrible. I am a master manifester, and sustaining my feel-good energy is my number one priority in life. I no longer work in busy environments, and that decision changed my life miraculously.

Those low-vibe emotions that I felt for years blocked me from manifesting my highest good. Within one year after quitting this job, I lost 30 pounds, my insomnia subsided, I no longer took Xanax, and I doubled my annual salary. The reason for this is I positioned myself to work from home.

At 45 years old, I lean towards introversion more than extraversion, and this surprises people that have known me my entire life. They are surprised because I am not a timid recluse that freezes up in social situations. As a matter of fact, I am the opposite, and I’m usually the person everyone wants to talk to. I say that without ego. I say that because I am compassionate, I pay attention to what people say, and I am an excellent conversationalist and public speaker. Those qualities in a person do not go unnoticed, especially in social situations.

So, if I’m sociable and have good social and communication skills, why am I more introverted than extroverted? Here’s the answer and the number one defining characteristic of introversion.

Too much socializing and human interaction drains my energy.

I am a devoted practitioner of metaphysics, and I expect the Law of Attraction to work for me as much as I expect my breath to work. Protecting my energy field against intruders is a lifestyle. I cannot attract in my highest good if I feel bad, so I live on purpose 24 hours per day seven days per week.

After careful deliberation and research, I realized these things about my personality.

• Interacting with people every single day infiltrates my energy space.
• Unlike an extrovert, I do not recharge from being around people.
• I am jolted by loud noise and excessive chatter.
• Nonstop talking makes me irritable.
• Feeling comfortable in my environment is critically important.

Before I figured all of this out, I couldn’t understand why I felt like I had been fighting on the front lines in a warzone after being around people. Now, I know. It’s because I need more alone time than most. My energy is enough, but that’s not the case with extroverts. Extroverts feel energized by other people. Not criticizing either personality, but it’s life changing when you figure out what fuels your energy and what drains your energy. There is a huge reason for both. Shining light on the truths of introversion was my inspiration for writing this article. My intention is to spark the eureka effect.

Based on my personal experiences, I believe these are the top five defining characteristics of an introvert.

Making Conversation for Long Periods of Time

Forcing small talk is an act that robs me of my feel-good energies, especially if I’m making conversation with a stranger. If I’m forcing small talk in a noisy environment, I might have to excuse myself so I can go to the bathroom, regroup, and ask God to give me the Divine strength, energy, and patience to cope.

Overcommitting is a Trigger

Attending more than one highly sociable event in a week is a bad idea. One sociable event is plenty, and something I enjoy. Two social events will likely throw me into irritable bitch mode. Allowing ample time to recharge is imperative to my overall health and well-being, and the only way I can recharge is through silence and solitude. For me, sociable events include meetings, parties, dinner with friends and family, happy hour, and phone calls.

Silence is Needed as Much as Water, Air, and Food

Human beings cannot survive without water, air, and food. Introverts require silence as much as they do the bare necessities for survival. I crave silence and solitude.

Noise is an Energy Thief

Watching television is something I do in small doses. Listening to loud music for long periods of time, especially if it’s music I don’t like, makes me want to scream and claw my face. Want to send me into a tailspin? Throw me in a room where the television is blaring and people are talking loudly over top of it, and I’ll lose my shit after one hour. My shit will be lost.

People-Pleasing is My Worst Nightmare

If I say “yes” to something that I know robs me of my feel-good energy, I seriously pay the piper. Being miserable is a feeling I avoid because it’s a feeling that drags me down for longer periods of time than it does most people I know. There are days when I don’t feel like making conversation with anyone, so if I accept a phone call to please someone else I do myself a great injustice.

Human Interaction is Not Important

Yes, I just said that, and I know how it sounds. Don’t get me wrong. I want to be around the people I love, but I am not a person that needs human interaction. The one thing I loved about COVID was the solitude. Within three months of being on lockdown, I knew what I had always suspected. I didn’t need to human interaction.

Being Myself is Important

When I am totally comfortable being myself, that’s when I thrive; however, I am not comfortable being myself around everyone. Not being able to be myself infiltrates my energy space. If I feel comfortable around you, sustaining my feel-good energy is a breeze. Anyone I feel comfortable with is a friend for life, because these folks are few and far between.

My Intuition is My Guide

Intuitively, I know what’s good and bad for me. If I ignore my intuition when it’s telling me, “Don’t go to that event!”, I regret it every time. Personally, I think my solitude has strengthened my intuition. When I was a social butterfly, my intuition wasn’t as reliable. I think my feel-good energy was depleted by the exhausting social interactions, and the low-vibe emotions drowned out the voice of my intuition.

In the event you feel like you might be an introvert, congratulations! We are a rare breed, but it’s our rare qualities that make us extraordinary. Once you figure out how to guard your energy space, your life improves significantly. Here’s five changes I made to embrace and nourish my introversion.

1. Stopped people pleasing
2. Became aware of energy thieves
3. Limited socializing
4. Avoided uncomfortable environments
5. Relied on my intuition for guidance

I highly recommend making these changes if you suspect introversion. Your intuition tells you everything you need to know, so if you feel uncomfortable in any situation there’s a reason why. Don’t ignore those feelings. And don’t let an extrovert tell you you’re wrong or weird or whatever. You’re not wrong. You’re not weird. Your energy simply requires more protection.

We cannot allow energies in that make us feel poorly. Our energy is sacred, and it must be guarded. Listen to your intuition if you’re off-kilter.

I’ll close with this. Don’t be one bit surprised if you see me at a party, dressed up in my flashiest clothing, enjoying some cocktails, loud music, laughter, and tons of small talk. You might even see me shake a tailfeather or two. However, don’t be surprised if I decline your brunch invite for the next day, despite the fact we had a ball together and felt like kindred spirits as we laughed, talked, and danced the night away. It’s because I know I am going to need peace and quiet the next day. Give me a week or two and I’ll be ready to get together again.

Did I spark an a-ha moment? If so, I want to know all about it! I love, love, love your comments, highlights, and claps. If you like my style, take it a step further and sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.paulaswope.com. My newsletter goes out on the 15th of each month.